Getting Ready for a New School Year
How to learn from past years and support our kids to success. What can we do to get ready for a new school year, avoid arguments and be a part of our child’s success?
WOW! Another blazing summer is coming to an end, and our kids will start or return to school soon. Some kids don't have it easy in school and struggle academically or socially to keep up with their friends and teachers. When this frustration hits home, parents often find themselves in a loop of fighting and putting out fires (just get this assignment done… why didn't you hand that in? I told you a million times!) Fall is a good time for new beginnings and changing how we do things. Coaching is about setting goals and moving forward, so I'd like to offer some things to consider before diving back into old habits.
What can you do before the school year starts?
Be present – I mean physically there. No matter how old your child is, they need you around. To be around, you may need to change your schedule and find a workplace around the house you can both be in. This can be your study with an extra desk or a dining room table. When you are physically there, you can identify struggles (academic or emotional) and offer help (yours or someone else's). You can also offer support and wisdom that will go a long way for your child's stress levels. Sometimes, just knowing they are not alone helps!
Contact the school - If your child has a 504/IEP or a known difficulty, talk to their teacher or school, and discuss your concerns. You can also check how the school plans to support your child and what services they offer. Establishing open communication with the school and teacher (that goes both ways) will make the year easier.
Teach your child to self-advocate – As your child grows, they need to learn to self-advocate their needs, concerns, and likes. Kids can learn self-advocacy from a young age and develop the skill as they mature. Stay tuned for the self-advocacy blog…J
Lessons learned and goal settings – What's done is done, but history is an important teacher. Have a conversation (not a lecture!) about some of the main struggles your child may have had (failing a class) or you may have experienced (having to run to school with a lunch bag three times a week). Set goals based on last year's struggles and achievements for the new school year.
Setting goals isn't as easy as it sounds and is a topic for a few parent coaching sessions. But… here is some goal setting 101, using the SMART model (https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/hrstrategicprojectmanagement/chapter/5-7-goals-projects/)
A SMART goal is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
Specific – What do you want to achieve? I want to hand in all my assignments by 4 pm Friday every week.
Measurable – How will you know you did it? All tasks on my calendar/google-classroom dashboard/organizer are crossed off.
Achievable: Is it in your power to accomplish this? What are possible obstacles? For example, I have to move my Kung-fu lesson to Saturday and practice piano in the morning, so I have more time on Tuesday to do my homework.
Realistic: Can you realistically achieve it? Yes! I came very close last year. This is a big one… Your child needs to know in their bones that they CAN achieve the goal and that it is HIS/HER goal, not yours.
Timely: By 4 pm on Friday (every week).
Once a SMART goal is set, your child is NOT alone in achieving it. You are there to support them. Go back to the beginning of this blog, set a time and space so that you are there. Even if it means just sitting there warming the chair next to them.
We're all busy. If you foresee an issue with your availability and abilities, brainstorm who else can help. This can be the neighbor's kid or another family member. When and if you communicate well with the school, check how they can help; study time? Organizational help? Checking/signing agendas? This may differ between schools, but they have the experience and know-how to support students and might as well use it. Be ready to acknowledge that you are their parent, not a teacher, and often, you will need to outsource some parts to tutors or coaches. Make sure to find the right match for your child. Children don't learn if they are not connecting with their teachers.
I wish us all a wonderful school year!
Michal